Salam.

so yeah peeps. how do i freaking feel right now? idk. honestly, i just don't know. 

I partially love my life in kmm and partially hate it. don't give me that look that says "i know you love it there, admit it you biches" hahaha.

No. i don't fully love it here. partly. not fully.

why i hate it might as well let me keep it to myself. fullstop.

Back to the main idea/topic or whatever you want to call it.

how do i feel. a lil bit sad. happy. angry and a mix of all the emotions that exist. yeah. i'm human afterall. my face may not give it all away what's in this biches mind but this heart just keep on keeping all the bullshits that happen. 

i keep it all until i cry that seems like impossible to stop. i will find a way to cover myself. hide. find a place to cry or just cry before going to bed. 

i have now turn into a weakling. Haha.

bet the people that are closed to me will be like

"this is not you. get the hella out of this biches body" etc etc etc

yeah. what ever.

the people around me, i know that every single one of them is a test for me. i know that. its just that, sometime you feel like you wanna leave all those rubbish people behind and just run away. pretend that the button reset really exist. pretend that when you run every single problems that exist disappear. idk. just disappear. gone. 

but, every single dreams that is the approximation of reaching it is infinity, might as well be forgotten. should just keep it as one of the dreams that shall never happen. 

i try to rebuild myself. rebuild my very own identity back. 

i tried. i just hope that the system that i downloaded will be functioning well.

i just hope that the wall that i built around me is strong enough. i just hope that everything is fine. i hope.

that's all.